Funny Texts From Dog About Fetching

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Jul nineteen, 2014 karen rated it liked information technology

yeah, information technology's true - i am reviewing ANOTHER one of these silly footling humor books instead of the 10 other more serious littry books that i am supposed to be reviewing right now. (and by "serious littry," i simply mean that non i of them is monsterporn.) but information technology'southward been a crude week, and sometimes i only need a express joy and a braincation, and then i demand to share that laughter with youse people, because the internet is my friend! and so here i am. sharing.

like everything else in the humor section these twenty-four hours

yeah, it's truthful - i am reviewing ANOTHER one of these silly little humor books instead of the x other more serious littry books that i am supposed to be reviewing right now. (and past "serious littry," i only mean that not one of them is monsterporn.) simply information technology'due south been a crude week, and sometimes i just demand a laugh and a braincation, and then i demand to share that laughter with youse people, because the internet is my friend! so hither i am. sharing.

like everything else in the humor section these days, this volume started on the cyberspace: http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/.

and in case you can't tell past the title of the book, the premise is that these are texts between an englishman and his bulldog, named "dog." there are maybe 200 or so texts in hither, many of which are totally corny, but there were plenty that made me chuckle, and so i am sharing them with you. because that's near similar writing a review.

canis familiaris is mostly just your typical dog, except for the texting abilities. he likes to wake his possessor upwards and break things and swallow things and smell things, he hates the postman, he has a nemesis named "catcat" and his change ego is "batdog." that'south about all you need to know. just your typical, mischievous bulldog, causing trouble.

this 1 might be my favorite, since i recently received a PM on here from a stranger, excoriating me for not using capital letters, despite their own letters being filled with misspellings and malapropisms. i am going to pretend my accuser was a dog, considering that makes it less irritating.

but dog manages to pay back the criticism several pages later, which is not how my own experience turned out.

in short - a fun book, even if many of them are groan-worthy. and i promise i volition get to those other ten reviews soon-presently.

...more

This was kind of beautiful for a while, then just barbarous back on the usual assortment of fart, poop and neutering jokes you would expect. Worth $.99.

Nov 14, 2012 Nicky rated it really liked information technology

This is almost the level my encephalon is at, after four days of flu.

I wouldn't actually recommend buying this, since the tumblr account has all the same stuff, here. There are little illustrations and stuff but really, unless you're looking to buy information technology as a silly souvenir for someone with the right sense of humor.

But it did make me smile in spite of my influenza, and so it gets plenty of stars.

This is about the level my brain is at, after 4 days of influenza.

I wouldn't actually recommend buying this, since the tumblr account has all the aforementioned stuff, here. There are little illustrations and stuff but actually, unless you lot're looking to buy information technology equally a giddy gift for someone with the right sense of humour.

But it did make me smiling in spite of my flu, and so information technology gets plenty of stars.

...more

My boyfriend and I picked this upward off the shelf at Barnes and Noble and stood there reading it and trying our hardest not to laugh out loud too much. I was literally in tears. Read the whole book in the store.

Definitely witty and ridiculous.

This is a hysterically funny book full of texts from a dog to his owner. They are exactly what yous would imagine your domestic dog would exist thinking. Near of the conversations are laugh out loud funny and the ones that aren't at to the lowest degree make you smile. This is a corking book for any canis familiaris lover! This is a hysterically funny book full of texts from a dog to his possessor. They are exactly what you lot would imagine your dog would be thinking. Most of the conversations are laugh out loud funny and the ones that aren't at least brand you smile. This is a great book for any canis familiaris lover! ...more

Jul 24, 2014 Christyn rated it information technology was amazing

This book is pretty freaking hilarious. I loved it. I was grinning, laughing and enjoying information technology. Definitely a good book when yous need something to smile virtually. It contains "text" conversations between a bulldog, "Dog" and his owner (or Butler as Dog is fond of referring to him - among other names). It has text messages ranging from the uncomplicated:

"Fetch the Stick.

No

Fetch the Stick

No

Fetch the Stick.

No

Fetch the Stick

NO

FETCH THE STICK

Purchase A BOOMERANG DIPSHIT"

To the mo

This book is pretty freaking hilarious. I loved it. I was smiling, laughing and enjoying it. Definitely a good book when you need something to smile well-nigh. It contains "text" conversations between a bulldog, "Dog" and his owner (or Butler every bit Dog is addicted of referring to him - among other names). Information technology has text messages ranging from the simple:

"Fetch the Stick.

No

Fetch the Stick

No

Fetch the Stick.

No

Fetch the Stick

NO

FETCH THE STICK

BUY A BOOMERANG DIPSHIT"

To the more elaborate:

"HAD A Proceed YOUR TREADMILL

Oh God

LEARNT A VALUABLE LESSON

Outset RULE OF TREADMILL IS…

DO NOT Terminate TO POO ON TREADMILL

"

There were also various texts about recurring themes; the postman, Domestic dog's activities, Dog destroying shit, general randomness and of course the adventures of BatDog:

"Me and CATCAT did BATTLE in the garden

Ok

It was a CLASH OF THE TITANS

Correct

AN ALL OUT War

Who won?

THERE ARE NO Existent VICTORS IN State of war

Got your ass kicked

Little bit"

What tin can I say, I'1000 easily tickled - only I think this book really captures some of our canine companions everyday lives and what they may exist thinking about (not to mention what they would be asking/talking/texting almost if they could). At that place were a few scattered illustrations throughout the book that added to the amuse. I absolutely adored it and information technology at present holds a spot on my keeper shelf. Information technology's hilarious, giddy and fun what more could yous inquire for?

I volition now exit you with a few more memorable conversations betwixt Domestic dog and his person.

"I Want A DIVORCE

Thats not how our relationship works

I'M Sick OF YOUR SHIT

Right

I Want More than FROM LIFE

I've got pizza

I SUDDENLY LOVE Yous And then MUCH Information technology HURTS"

and

"Practice y'all recollect I could exist a police dog?

No

I don't think you've got the nervus for information technology.

WTF? My nerves are made of STEEL

Dude, you bound at the sound of your OWN FARTS

THEY SNEAK Up ON ME"

Can't forget the postman now can we?

"Postman's out cold.

HOW??

I TOOK HIM DOWN

FFS Get out HIM ALONE

I JUMPED OUT OF THE UPSTAIRS WINDOW

OH MY GOD

SHOUTED "Information technology'S RAINING BATDOG BITCH"

SAVED THE WORLD

You Abdomen-FLOPPED A POSTMAN DICKHEAD"

Note: The Format for the text conversations didn't quite come up out how I wanted it and I'm too lazy to do the indent but the Bold text is Dog's side of the chat.

...more than

Jan 22, 2016 Siddharth rated information technology it was amazing

My book is made by October Jones. Information technology 19s Fiction. The genre of the book is Fantasy One-act. I chose to read this volume because my peers recommended it and I really similar comedy books. The volume it about a domestic dog writing texts to his human owner. The cardinal character is the Domestic dog (BullDog) and his owner (A Human) The character changes or evolves throughout the book by learning how to texts better. There is no really general plot unless you count the business firm which we really don't meet.
The story made me lau
My book is made by October Jones. It 19s Fiction. The genre of the book is Fantasy Comedy. I chose to read this book because my peers recommended it and I really like comedy books. The book information technology nigh a canis familiaris writing texts to his homo owner. The central grapheme is the Dog (BullDog) and his owner (A Man) The character changes or evolves throughout the volume past learning how to texts better. There is no really general plot unless y'all count the house which nosotros actually don't see.
The story made me laugh. The characters obviously didn 19t seem real but it was actually funny. The story made me actually think near how fun information technology would exist to know what dogs are thinking near. As a determination I want to say that this volume was a really not bad book and I would recommend a mature audition 12+ to read information technology
...more

December 25, 2012 Sam rated it really liked information technology

This is a hysterical read and is really well idea out showing what would happen if your dog could text and the questions, queries and random thoughts that would appear in your inbox as a result. This is perfect for any dog possessor and you will never expect at your canis familiaris the same mode once more (I'chiliad sure mine has some of these thoughts you know!). This is a hysterical read and is actually well idea out showing what would happen if your canis familiaris could text and the questions, queries and random thoughts that would appear in your inbox as a issue. This is perfect for any dog owner and you will never wait at your dog the same manner over again (I'm sure mine has some of these thoughts you know!). ...more than

Jul 20, 2014 Martha rated it liked it

I needed this afterwards a very stressful novel. I'm not a canis familiaris person (or a true cat person) but this is hilarious. Well, most of it is hilarious. Like 90% of information technology. I think this would be a nice, quick read for anyone. It took me maybe 30-minutes to stop this so it might be practiced to read while waiting for the ... I dunno, rice to cook? I needed this afterward a very stressful novel. I'm not a dog person (or a cat person) only this is hilarious. Well, nigh of it is hilarious. Like 90% of it. I recall this would exist a nice, quick read for anyone. Information technology took me maybe 30-minutes to cease this so it might be good to read while waiting for the ... I dunno, rice to melt? ...more than

Jul 03, 2014 Laura rated information technology really liked it

Read this in one sitting. Cute text messages sent between domestic dog and possessor. I really liked the volume and several times went to go read some of this out loud to my parents (I am ten yrs quondam) I recommend it!

Dec 19, 2012 Amy Pezzuolo rated it really liked it

This was the perfect selection me up! Hilarious, thoughtless, enjoyable reading at its finest. Must have a sense of sense of humor and tolerance for vulgar language... But very relatable in a unique way.

Aug 06, 2017 Darren rated it information technology was astonishing

Very funny. Both dog and possessor need their mouths done out with soap.

Jul 27, 2014 Meep rated it it was amazing

Hysterical some not bad giggles here for whatever dog-owner.
Domestic dog has mental attitude - and a mobile for texting.

Quite a few great ideas accept made the transition from the internet into book class. Many of them are quite hilarious on the internet, particularly when they popular up every so often, merely just don't work out nigh so well when published all together in a book. Mil Millington's "Things My Girlfriend and I Accept Argued Nigh" was one such internet sensation that didn't translate well into novel form and, sadly, October Jones' "Texts From Dog" is another.

It's a fantastic idea, almost what a domestic dog would tex

Quite a few great ideas have made the transition from the cyberspace into book grade. Many of them are quite hilarious on the internet, particularly when they pop up every so oft, simply merely don't work out nearly so well when published all together in a volume. Mil Millington's "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About" was one such net sensation that didn't interpret well into novel form and, sadly, Oct Jones' "Texts From Dog" is some other.

It's a fantastic idea, about what a domestic dog would text to an owner if information technology could text. Every bit dog owners might predict, many of the texts involve chasing balls or sticks, eating and breaking things and either barking at or chasing other people and animals, most commonly the postman and a local cat and squirrels. It's interesting to run into a dog's perspective on these things and particularly what a domestic dog might recollect of its owner, which is rarely complimentary unless in that location is nutrient or a bowl involved.

However, it is when the texts branch away from standard dog behaviour that the texts are at their funniest. When dog pulls a drape rail down to use every bit a cape and becomes Batdog, to start battling his enemy Catcat, this is generally quite funny. There are too moments of fine observational humour, such as when dog drinks some Scarlet Bull, which is brilliantly described and the moment where he gets into trouble with the police force or decides to exit a game of fetch part fashion through.

Sadly, there is a lack of consistency in the arroyo, as canis familiaris is sometimes brilliant at seeing through his owner'southward plans, merely is more oftentimes portrayed as a canis familiaris without much of what we would recognise as human being intelligence. There are also moments where domestic dog's opinions of his owner are that he is a complete idiot, merely at other times, he treats him something alike to a butler, which seems more than alike to cat behaviour towards humans than dog behaviour. Occasionally, these contrasts will occur on the aforementioned double folio spread and the inconsistency is a little confusing and shows how reading occasional texts on an internet folio works improve than reading a lot together in a book.

Whilst the content is generally quite good fun, the way it's been put together in this book is a bit of a let-down. 3 of the texts are repeated, which is a shame when at that place are only around 200 in here to showtime with and some of them aren't in the right order, meaning that an event referred to early in the book only makes sense when you get to the corresponding before events later in the book. The cartoons are likewise agreeable, but in a book where there are just 2 texts – the chief content of the book – to a page, removing one of them to replace it with a drawing that doesn't smoothen any calorie-free on the text, feels similar space filling.

There are moments of great amusement hither, but these are not consistent enough to make for a cracking book. "Texts From Canis familiaris" is something worth looking out for, but not in this format, when it is bachelor for free in a format which actually makes it more fun.

...more

Amusing, irreverent one-sitting read consisting entirely of texts between an English bulldog and his possessor. May need to brush up on your British slang a bit. Makes me wonder what kind of conversations my cats would have if they could text.

January 10, 2022 Mandy Crumb rated it did not like it

Parenting fail with this 1. I idea it was going to exist family friendly fun so I passed it over to my young kids. 100% not child appropriate! Now accept two kids request what a donkey scrotum is thanks to October Jones.

Clever, but non as clever as my canis familiaris would be at texting. ;-)

Funny

That BATDOG is something else! Funny content of things I would retrieve a dog would want to talk about. Can't expect for the next edition.

Dog thoughts

I've had dogs for a long time and actually got a boot out of this book. It is only as silly as I believe my dogs to be.

Jan 29, 2019 Irraya rated it it was amazing

This was such a short book. Very hilarious, and totally worth a read, low-cal though it may be.

Apr 10, 2019 Amy rated it it was ok

Wasn't equally entertaining as I'd hoped it would be. Yet, there were a few funny ones I hadn't seen before. Wasn't as entertaining equally I'd hoped it would be. Still, there were a few funny ones I hadn't seen earlier. ...more

Very Funny, Dilbert for Dogs

Very enjoyable, light-hearted, funny. But merely don't wait a compatible plot. It's from a dog for goodness sake! Did I say it was funny?

Very Funny, Dilbert for Dogs

Very enjoyable, lite-hearted, funny. But merely don't wait a uniform plot. Information technology's from a dog for goodness sake! Did I say it was funny?

...more than

May xix, 2022 Ang Evans rated it it was amazing

This volume is so cute and funny! A smashing gift for a dogmom or dad 😂 (*non for kids*language)

The language was a flake much for me. As well rude.

Texts from Dog has ever been i of my favorites, so a collection of them is absolutely brilliant. From my count in that location were unfortunately 3 duplicate texts throughout the book - but it was still good!

Mar 08, 2016 50.E. Truscott rated it really liked it

Texts from Dog is a moving picture volume for adults. Information technology's really of import to brand this clear because its simplicity and pictures might hateful it is mistaken for a children'southward book. But the starting time time (and many subsequent times) Canis familiaris drops the f-flop, it is articulate that children should not exist reading information technology. It's a shame, actually, that the swearing prevents it being read past a wider and younger audience because it could take been a book that everyone enjoyed.

Instead, we adults get to read information technology and laugh out loud. T

Texts from Domestic dog is a pic book for adults. Information technology's really important to make this clear considering its simplicity and pictures might mean it is mistaken for a children's volume. But the get-go fourth dimension (and many subsequent times) Dog drops the f-bomb, information technology is clear that children should not be reading it. It's a shame, actually, that the swearing prevents it being read past a wider and younger audition because it could have been a book that everyone enjoyed.

Instead, we adults get to read it and express mirth out loud. The book has a simple and yet unlikely premise: October Jones owns a bulldog and has bought him a jail cell telephone and "taught" him to text. The entire book is comprised of text conversations between owner and pet, generally while the owner is at work and the pet is wreaking havoc at home, some while they are both at home but the owner is upstairs and the pet is downstairs. Especially archetype are the texts at 3am when October is in bed and Dog has to go outside, texting that he tin can't schedule his poos. Tee-hee!

Domestic dog is consumed by his disharmonize with the neighbor's cat, his evil arch-nemesis CatCat ("So, basically, a true cat?"), and assumes his change-ego BatDog ("I am the Bark Knight.") in order to battle against him. But he's scared of squirrels ("Don't tell that evil bounder where I live."). And appliances in the house are out to get him, too ("The lamp in the living room fell over. Now I have to fight it. Matter of honour.").

There are a couple of references for the serious reader where October lectures Dog on the correct apply of "your" and "yous're" ("How'due south this: You're going to get head-butted in your testicles") and where Dog reviews War and Peace for Oct ("Tasted like craven") but in the primary it's just silly fun.

There are a couple of repeated text conversations and some of them are out of order (there's a text announcing Domestic dog has tired of playing with Zombie Pigeon and afterward on there's a text introducing Zombie Dove) simply they are minor glitches.

Reading this book won't change your life but it certainly brought a smile to my confront as well as many laughs from my lips. And as a writer, it'due south the sort of high concept book that makes me a little jealous I didn't recollect of it offset.

...more than

Jul 07, 2015 Vera Maharani rated it really liked it

Warning : Don't read this at your office while you are *supposed to be* working. Seriously. Don't say I didn't warn y'all

This book contains all sort of random, imaginary text conversation betwixt a bulldog called Dog (or Main Woofington von Barkshire, or Batdog) and his possessor (or "the Butler", or "Twatboy", every bit Domestic dog preferred to call him). The Canis familiaris was highly imaginative and would really benefit from sugarless diet. And the owner, well, from his replies, I recall he must have regretted his decisio

Warning : Don't read this at your office while yous are *supposed to be* working. Seriously. Don't say I didn't warn you lot

This book contains all sort of random, imaginary text conversation between a bulldog called Dog (or Principal Woofington von Barkshire, or Batdog) and his owner (or "the Butler", or "Twatboy", every bit Domestic dog preferred to telephone call him). The Dog was highly imaginative and would actually benefit from sugarless diet. And the owner, well, from his replies, I call back he must accept regretted his decision to taught his domestic dog to text, hahaha.

Oh Canis familiaris...

I had a difficult time not to howl with laughter while reading this volume. Every bit someone who owns a pet, this book gave...um, insight (?) well-nigh what might be inside my pet'southward head.

I also picked some new expletive words, which is kinda nice, hahaha.

Virtually of the texts were published in Jones' tumblr site http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/ only I nonetheless recommend to buy this book. Perhaps as a gift for your dog-owner friend (or yourself). After all, presenting this book as a altogether gift feels better than but maxim, "Yo, happy birthday mate, go cheque this tumblr site! Laughter is my special birthday gift to you lot, XOXO."

...more

Aug 07, 2015 Tracy rated it liked information technology

3.5 stars
It'due south kind of like if Ted (the lewd teddy deport) was a dog who could text. I was looking forwards to this humour book, subsequently Texts from Mittens (a humor book of texts from a cat), but, even with some funny texts, I merely did non savour the humor. There weren't plenty dog sense of humor and dog buying woes. It was stupid guy humour, and information technology wasn't always funny, crude at times (a lot of cursing). The character of the domestic dog from the texts felt more like some stupid guy with delusions. Dogs are known to be three.5 stars
It's kind of like if Ted (the lewd teddy conduct) was a domestic dog who could text. I was looking frontward to this humor volume, after Texts from Mittens (a sense of humour book of texts from a true cat), simply, fifty-fifty with some funny texts, I but did not enjoy the sense of humour. There weren't enough dog sense of humour and canis familiaris ownership woes. It was stupid guy humor, and it wasn't e'er funny, crude at times (a lot of cursing). The character of the dog from the texts felt more than like some stupid guy with delusions. Dogs are known to be loyal and loving, and I gauge that doesn't go out every bit much room for humorous dialogue, merely, if I didn't know it was supposed to be a dog, I would have idea it was 2 guys being stupid. ...more

January 25, 2016 Andrush rated it really liked information technology

My dog sends me texts.Yeah.It'southward weird. That's the opening line of this wonderful and hilarious book.i volition not lie that this book made me laugh out loud.This book has no plot or setting it is just conversations between a texting dog and his possessor.This volume has some sub plots which are dog being Batdog fighting Cat True cat and at that place are many references to popular civilization and things the kids say.This book has crude sense of humour and many jokes for adults but almost kids my historic period still under stand up them it has the humo My dog sends me texts.Yeah.It's weird. That'southward the opening line of this wonderful and hilarious book.i volition not prevarication that this volume made me express mirth out loud.This book has no plot or setting it is merely conversations between a texting dog and his owner.This book has some sub plots which are dog being Batdog fighting Cat True cat and there are many references to pop culture and things the kids say.This book has crude humor and many jokes for adults but most kids my historic period even so under stand them it has the humour of Scott Pilgrim and the corporeality of laughter that I got was huge.It is just bad this book dose not have more than plot thats why it'south not perfect. ...more than

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